GOing to BAttLe...

After last mouth and the horrific PMDD I'm gearing up for another round. Thinking about trying the Prozac again...maybe downing the mg. Last month I lost track of time and it came out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks, but this time I'm ready. I have new "app" that tracks my cycle...and I programmed date of arrival on my phone and set an alarm! I should be ready for that first day of exhaustion and the meanies to follow and then of course the ever so beloved "I hate myself and no one really loves me" crying! Can I get a whoop whoop!! If the lower dose prozac doesn't cut it or gives me the heebie-geevies like last time, I will be switching to a full time antidepressant. I've put this off for years..denied it, "forgotten" to ask doctor, and more or less thought I could handle to mood swings and depression and rage that haunts me. But I have a friend, who put it into perspective..."why wouldn't you take something that will simply make you feel better, instead of trying to do it alone?" She's right and what's really annoying is it's exactly what I oh so knowingly said to my mother a few years ago regarding her OCD. I remember saying and I still believe that she could take something low dose that could make the little things she feels are so important or the worrying she does subside...that way she could enjoy more of her life. Well, clearly I should take my own advice. So that's the plan...see how this next round goes and then make long term decision. Thank you to my dear friends who helped me through last round...it was not pretty and very scary. You know who you are and I love you dearly.